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Last week I was at a Christmas party… five years ago these parties use to be about bad appetizers, drinking too much and guys with lampshades (you know where).

Instead of crazy white elephant gifts the conversations are about that person who unfriended another person on Facebook.

Really?

Last week I found myself in a group conversation where one woman was questioning the reason why she was unfriended on Facebook. “I can’t believe that she unfriended me, I was just saying that I didn’t agree with her GOP garbage!” she exclaimed.

Sad but true, in this beautiful Holiday Season of giving and good will towards me people all over the Facebook universe are being unfriended left and right. I think it’s a tribute to how much Facebook had become a major part of our everyday lives. Think about it for a moment… Facebook is everywhere:

  • when you post pictures on a family vacation
  • when you check in at the local watering hole
  • when you comment on Tim Tebow
  • and yes, when you unfriend a person that annoys you

Usually this time of year many blog posts follow one key criteria and that’s 2012 predictions. I really don’t need to predict anything, except that Facebook will become even more of a permanent fixture in society. I’ll put it right up there with the microwave as one of the best inventions of all time! When was the last time you warmed something up in anything other than a microwave – and when as the last time you said something without putting it on Facebook? When you dig deeper into social media and Facebook you can see that with the increasing explosion of mobile, Facebook will become even more of a life necessity.

Alright – I digress. Let’s get to some Facebook stats regarding why people unfriend other people. First, here is a great study conducted by the University of Colorado about why people unfriend others on Facebook (courtesy of David Kelly). One important social aspect that came out of this study was that just like in real life, there is also a social hierarchy on Facebook. They found that those making the friend requests are much more likely to be abruptly unfriended, while those who unfriend have the dominant role in the relationship.

Let’s look at a few info graphics (courtesy of Leslie Horn of PC Magazine). The average Facebook user has around 130 friends. The number reason why you have these friends is because you know them in real life.

What’s more striking is that 60% of Facebook users friend someone basically on a mutual friend basis. This speaks volumes about how we interact socially. So even if we don’t know someone, if they are a friend of friend, you are in! Hmmm makes you wonder.

So why do people unfriend people? The biggest reason (55%) is because of Offensive comments. This stat is pretty interesting, it points out a general rule of thumb. Think about it, if you are in a restaurant and someone is swearing to the wait staff do you stay? Or do you ask the management to remove this person? Proper language is a societal norm and people have translated this norm to Facebook.

The important takeaway from all this is that Facebook seems to have translated commonly held social values and incorporated them into the fabric of the social channel. You could almost argue that one of the reasons for MySpace’s failure was that people used MySpace to live a fantasy life with no social norms or values.

So before you get upset at the asshole that unfriend you on Facebook, take a look at the stats and see why you may have been unfriended.